Opinions are like…

We do it everyday, sometimes unconsciously, sometimes on purpose. Sometimes we do it to make ourselves feel better; sometimes we do it to make others laugh. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re doing it. But every time we do it we put a chink in someone else’s armor and a chink in our own.

Judging others has become almost a sport nowadays. There are movies about it: Mean Girls, Heathers and Cruel Intentions just to name a few. You see it all the time in social media and on the news about another teen succumbing to bullying and taking their own life. And I am sure some of us still deal with it on a daily basis.

I feel sorry for the children growing up in today’s society having to deal with the bullying and the teasing for being unpopular or not fitting in. It seems pretty cruel now that I am an adult looking back on my childhood. But even as an adult I still deal with judgment on a regular basis. Instead of my hair or my clothes I am now being judged on my job, where I live, or how much money I make.

If you are one of those people who has been able to shrug off the opinions of others and not really care about what others think of you, I think you are pretty badass! I personally have never been able to do that. My mom always told me that what other people thought didn’t matter, that the only opinion that did matter was my own (and maybe hers at times). My fiancé says this to me on a regular basis now too and I know both of them are right but that doesn’t make it easy. Up until recently I cared way too much about what other people though about me. I always wanted to know if someone was talking badly about me or if a new acquaintance liked me after meeting for the first time.

Planning my wedding with my fiancé has changed this about me and I couldn’t be happier! We have been engaged since November 2013 and have had quite some time to plan our big special day. Now, 100 days out from that big day, everything is coming together. From my dress to his tux and the flowers (or lack thereof) to the cake, every single thing has been handpicked by my fiancé and I. We have made every decision based on our own likes and dislikes and I have to tell you it is liberating!

As a young girl I always dreamed of this big fancy wedding with 500 guests and flowers and lace and pearls and all those things a girl dreams about. Now at 24, almost 25 years old my idea of a wedding has changed. Now it’s more about an intimacy Joe and I will share with those close to us. It’s about celebrating our love and sharing it with family and friends by having a great big party. So what better way to celebrate us than to make the party all about what we like?

Joe and I are pretty simple people, we’re not into fancy things like ice sculptures and chocolate fountains. We’re into more of the intimate things like mason jars and punch bowls. So that’s what we will be doing for our wedding, keeping it simple. I have had so many friends ask me if we’re doing this or if we’ve thought about that. I have had friends tell me that I should really think about doing this or seem shocked when I tell them I’m not doing that. And after all of the questioning and sometimes probing I just have to smile and tell them it’s just not us, and that’s okay.

This whole “this is me and that’s just how it is” attitude has been rubbing off on me at work too. I used to be so afraid to put my foot down as a lead because I didn’t want to hurt anyone that I just shrugged a lot of things off. I had that reputation of being nice and sweet and not doing anything when maybe I should have. Now I am surprising a lot of people by putting my foot down and calling people out on their mistakes. I’m getting tougher and standing up and proving myself worthy of another promotion slowly but surely.

So to those who might care a little too much about what people think: STOP! It’s okay to care a little bit, but not to the point of it becoming detrimental to yourself and your wants and needs. Take a step back every now and then and ask yourself if what you are doing right now is to please yourself or to please someone else. I think you might be surprised by your answer.

Family Projects

Family has always been extremely important to me.  My mom is my best friend, my dad my greatest protector and my brother my partner in crime.  The four of us are quite a tightly knit group and that may have made me seem odd when I was younger but now that I’m in my twenties I appreciate it.  When I was younger and kids at school would ask me what I was doing over the weekend I would always respond with “I’m not sure, something with my family” and I would always get this look that made me feel weird.  Now at 24 when I answer my friends the same way they look at me with envy.
When my fiancé Joe started hanging around on the weekends with my family I started realizing that he was going to fit in just fine as well.  Yes my parents’ and brother’s opinions meant something to me and when they gave the stamp of approval without even knowing it I knew Joe would become a second son to my parents and a brother to mine.  So now we are a nice little family of five and although we get busy and don’t always have as much time for each other as we usually do we still know that we will always be there for each other when needed.
These past few weekends have actually been full of family time and we’ve actually gotten the chance to get even closer and enjoy things together.  Joe and I are trying to keep our wedding budget rather small which means lots of DIY projects rather than buying things premade.  So far we have made boutonnieres, my bouquet, our guestbook and now a homemade batch of wine that will be ready just in time for the wedding.
The boutonnieres were a very quick and easy project.  We bought some vintage keys from The Brass Armadillo (one of our favorite antique shops) and some ivory ribbon.  From there it was as easy as tying a bow.
My bouquet consists of a foam ball, rice lights embedded from the inside of the ball, fabric and fabric pins.  This project has taken some time because we are making the patches of fabric look like small flowers and then we are pinning them into the foam.  Because our wedding is going to be at night I wanted a little bit of light added to my bouquet so the rice lights that we poked through to shine through the fabric give me that.  This project was a little more difficult and is still not complete but my dad has been a huge help with this one.
A few weekends ago I we decided to get cracking on our guest book. I had found this idea on pinterest so we started with that and then it evolved into something so much better.
First we bought seven 3-foot pieces of wood and three 2-foot pieces to make the pallet.  We had a few different ideas on how to get the pieces together and finally decided on using biscuits.  Joe found a biscuit jointer on sale and we bought that and the biscuits to start this project.  My dad helped with some ideas on the best way to use the biscuits and our best plan of attack. Then it was time to drill the slots for the biscuits and then glue them in.

We had to let the biscuits and glue dry overnight so then Sunday we were going to sand and stain the wood.  Joe and my dad got to talking Saturday night and come up with the idea to engrave the heart I was originally going to paint onto the wood. So after sanding the crap our of this wood we found a nice pattern to follow of a heart and dad engraved it. After that was done it was time to stain the wood.

The wood we bought was a red oak that was actually very light in color. Joe and I have always loved a bit of a darker wood feel so we bought some red mahogany wood stain and a few coats of that made it look amazing. Then we sealed it so the stain wouldn’t scratch or anything like that.
The last touch was painting on our last name and our wedding date. After finding the right stencil and color of white paint (who knew there were so many different variations of white) we painted that on. One last coat of sealant and this baby is ready to be written on with paint pens.

Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments below.