Farewell 2015

I know I have been a little MIA in the blog world lately. With getting promoted, finishing the wedding planning, getting married, buying a house, moving into said house, honeymoon and every other little thing in between it has been a pretty crazy last few months. But, because the main reason I started this blog was to log my own goals, successes and failures, I only found it fitting that I needed to follow up with my 2015 goals and set some new goals.

Last year I posted all of my goals for 2015 broken down into categories: financial, family and personal.

I have to say when I went into 2015 I was not expecting to meet as many of these goals as I did. I was expecting to get close but still be working on quite a few of them. I am so happy to say that with the help of my family and my amazing husband, together we have accomplished so much and have come up with even more goals and plans for 2016!

So here’s how 2015 ended up…

Financial Goals:

Have all wedding money saved by July 2015
Nailed it! We were able to pay for all parts of our wedding in cash and made it through debt free!

Have a $500 Cash Emergency Fund by July 2015
Exceeded it! We currently have a $1000 cash emergency fund stashed away for those what if’s, on top of a second savings in another savings account.

Open a Joint Account for Wedding Savings and Future Use by July 2015
Done! Joint account is up and running with both of our paychecks being direct deposited! We also earned $150 by signing up with our bank and setting up those direct deposits. Not bad!

All Debt except for Car and Student Loans paid off by July 2015
Nailed it! We are currently paying off my car and student loans but all other debt is paid off. We do accrue a monthly credit card bill but we are able to pay it off in full each month.

Have Half of a Down Payment Saved for our House by September 2015
Exceeded it! We bought a house the week after Labor Day and moved in officially the week after we got back from our honeymoon!

Family Goals:

Schedule family time at least every other weekend
I wouldn’t say that we scheduled time but now that Joe and I are living in our own place we do make a point of having dinner with my family at least once a week.

Schedule at least one date a month
Again, I don’t think we actually scheduled dates but we do make sure we go out just the two of us at least once a month.

Personal Goals:

Maintain a GPA of 3.5 or higher at GCU
I fell short on this one a bit. With the promotion at work I slacked off a bit on my schoolwork. I have still passed all of my classes but they were not the straight A’s I was hoping for. Only 8 more classes until I graduate and I know I can finish strong!

Move up at Work
Nailed it! I got the lead position at work and will be applying for the next supervisor position to move up again here soon!

Be at least a Level 2 SCUBA Diver
Nailed it! We got to dive in Hawaii while on our honeymoon that got me a few more dives logged which let me hit level 2.

Engage More
I have to say I honestly don’t think I engaged as much as I could have this year, at least not on social media.  I did however form amazing relationships with some people at work and I am so thankful for those real life friendships that I have made.

Attend Super Saturday with Becky and Explore Beach Body
Done. I attended a Super Saturday with Becky and did look into Beach Body a lot this year. Although I decided it wasn’t the route for me, it did lead me to look into something that I really am passionate about and I am now working on that idea.

Read More
Although I did read a lot this year, I am not happy with how much I didn’t read. I wanted to tackle the 2015 reading challenge and honestly didn’t get to very many of the books on that list. I picked up one of them and fell in love with the author’s writing and therefore had to read all the rest of the books she’s written. I clearly have a type when it comes to books.

Family Projects

Family has always been extremely important to me.  My mom is my best friend, my dad my greatest protector and my brother my partner in crime.  The four of us are quite a tightly knit group and that may have made me seem odd when I was younger but now that I’m in my twenties I appreciate it.  When I was younger and kids at school would ask me what I was doing over the weekend I would always respond with “I’m not sure, something with my family” and I would always get this look that made me feel weird.  Now at 24 when I answer my friends the same way they look at me with envy.
When my fiancé Joe started hanging around on the weekends with my family I started realizing that he was going to fit in just fine as well.  Yes my parents’ and brother’s opinions meant something to me and when they gave the stamp of approval without even knowing it I knew Joe would become a second son to my parents and a brother to mine.  So now we are a nice little family of five and although we get busy and don’t always have as much time for each other as we usually do we still know that we will always be there for each other when needed.
These past few weekends have actually been full of family time and we’ve actually gotten the chance to get even closer and enjoy things together.  Joe and I are trying to keep our wedding budget rather small which means lots of DIY projects rather than buying things premade.  So far we have made boutonnieres, my bouquet, our guestbook and now a homemade batch of wine that will be ready just in time for the wedding.
The boutonnieres were a very quick and easy project.  We bought some vintage keys from The Brass Armadillo (one of our favorite antique shops) and some ivory ribbon.  From there it was as easy as tying a bow.
My bouquet consists of a foam ball, rice lights embedded from the inside of the ball, fabric and fabric pins.  This project has taken some time because we are making the patches of fabric look like small flowers and then we are pinning them into the foam.  Because our wedding is going to be at night I wanted a little bit of light added to my bouquet so the rice lights that we poked through to shine through the fabric give me that.  This project was a little more difficult and is still not complete but my dad has been a huge help with this one.
A few weekends ago I we decided to get cracking on our guest book. I had found this idea on pinterest so we started with that and then it evolved into something so much better.
First we bought seven 3-foot pieces of wood and three 2-foot pieces to make the pallet.  We had a few different ideas on how to get the pieces together and finally decided on using biscuits.  Joe found a biscuit jointer on sale and we bought that and the biscuits to start this project.  My dad helped with some ideas on the best way to use the biscuits and our best plan of attack. Then it was time to drill the slots for the biscuits and then glue them in.

We had to let the biscuits and glue dry overnight so then Sunday we were going to sand and stain the wood.  Joe and my dad got to talking Saturday night and come up with the idea to engrave the heart I was originally going to paint onto the wood. So after sanding the crap our of this wood we found a nice pattern to follow of a heart and dad engraved it. After that was done it was time to stain the wood.

The wood we bought was a red oak that was actually very light in color. Joe and I have always loved a bit of a darker wood feel so we bought some red mahogany wood stain and a few coats of that made it look amazing. Then we sealed it so the stain wouldn’t scratch or anything like that.
The last touch was painting on our last name and our wedding date. After finding the right stencil and color of white paint (who knew there were so many different variations of white) we painted that on. One last coat of sealant and this baby is ready to be written on with paint pens.

Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments below.

Soul Mates

199

199 days until I marry my best friend, my soul mate, and love of my life.  199 days until I say “I do” to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.  Even though we met kind of uniquely and our first date was amazing I don’t want to bore you with the details of how it all started.  Instead I want to share one crazy theory we have about our relationship.

Years before I even knew Joe existed I was sort of seeing a guy who loved WWII stuff.  The airplanes, the war, the music, pretty much the whole era was fascinating to him and although I had never really delved deep into the history I too had always loved those things.  Long story short it didn’t work out, obviously, but after talking with him a lot about this era I started having a reoccurring dream.  Maybe the conversations triggered something subconsciously, maybe it was completely random but it happened nonetheless.

Every few nights I would have the same exact dream.  It was always in that sepia tone where you can kind of tell the colors but there’s this tint to the whole picture.  It started with me walking towards a train station in a red dress with my hair all done up and red lipstick, the works.  I stand there for a moment and then see a man walking off a train and I run to him.  The man’s face is always fuzzy but he’s always about 5’9, medium build and for some reason I can tell he had blonde/dirty blonde hair.  He was dressed in a WWII military uniform and had wings pinned to his chest like an airman.  We hug and kiss and then he picks up his duffle bag and we start walking down a dirt road hand in hand away from the station.  And then I wake up.

Fast forward a few years and I meet Joe, 24 years old at the time, about 5’8, maybe 5’9, medium build, blonde hair and a love for WWII and all things airplanes.  It took a while for things to click, especially since I didn’t learn about his love for WWII for quite some time.

At first I wasn’t sure if I should say anything.  I mean come on, who believes in past lives, let alone thinks their dream is a memory?  But somehow I knew Joe would understand or at least not laugh in my face.

So one night while we were snuggled up just talking I mustered up the courage and told him the story.  He took it all in and didn’t say anything for a few moments.  I thought for sure he was figuring out how to tell me he thought I was crazy.  But when he opened his mouth to speak it was with a smile.  He said “Well that explains a lot”. I just looked at him wondering what he meant. He could tell I wasn’t grasping what he was saying so he went on to explain.

It finally made sense why it had always seemed like we had known each other forever. It made sense why our conversations were so effortless, how somehow we both understood each other on a whole different level. How even after just talking we knew we had to be in each other’s lives. And how even though he had just met me, Joe knew he was going to marry me the moment he saw me in that bookstore.

Now yes it may seem a little far-fetched, but I am a full believer in past lives and even though we usually don’t remember them, memories can sneak in. Have you ever been absolutely in love with a certain era, and you could almost see yourself in a time like that? Or for some reason something seems so familiar but you can’t figure out why? Maybe it was a past life… maybe you really did live in that time and little memories are seeping into your new life.

Because we both love the era of WWII so much and feel at home when we listen to music from that time or feel reminiscent when we see pictures, Joe and I are convinced we each had a past life here in the US in the 1940’s. And if that’s not crazy enough, we believe we shared this life and had a relationship at that time as well.

So now, we have this thing, whenever one of us is feeling down or when the conversation about death comes up we remind each other that we were together once and found each other again and one day in another life we will find each other again because we are the true definition of soulmates.

Have you met your soulmate?

Don’t Ever Forget… You’re Worth it

Besides all of the great things that took place today, it was a weird day. The day itself went fine but the date, January 20^th had a bit of a hold on me. Today is my ex’s birthday. And yes I am happily engaged to an amazing man and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him, but my ex was a huge part of my life for many years before I met my fiancé. My ex is one of the main reasons I am who I am today and I can’t help but want to Thank Him every now and then.

I met my ex on a random day at a Jiffy Lube. I walked in, he was waiting, we talked a bit about what was on the tv and then he left. A few minutes later he came back pretending he had left something and asked for my number. We hung out and talked a bit and I was swept away. I thought I was in love. I thought he was great. I was 18 and naïve.

He was a combat medic in the army national guard and he spent the first year of our relationship in Iraq. We talked marriage and kids and had a whole future planned out. And then he came home.

The changes were slow. Getting mad over something little and making it bigger than it was. Storming out of my room and going for a drive not to return for a few hours. And then I started catching him slip up… texting all the time (not to me since I was sitting next to him), spending more and more time out of the house. Until I caught him exchanging messages with another girl… messages that should not have been shared with anyone but me. Talking about how he couldn’t wait to see her again and how much fun he had with her the other day. Confrontation after confrontation, reconciliation after reconciliation… I was stupid and blind. He would go from “I love you, let’s get married” to “love is a lie and marriage is a trap” in about 10 seconds flat. But I was stupid.

I went along with the charade, thinking like any 19 year old would, that I could change him, that he would wake up and see that he really did want all those things he used to say he did. He admitted to cheating on me on more than one occasion and I forgave him. I said I understood and that it was okay as long as he promised not to do it again. Another lie. I would surprise him after school or work and catch him “hanging out” with another girl. Again I would get upset but eventually forgive him. He would tell me he just needed new friends, and was trying to do that.

After breaking up and not speaking for about 6 months we tried things out again. Same patterns, same issues. I finally reached out to a mutual friend, wondering if maybe all of his actions had something to do with what had happened in Iraq. I didn’t know much but he would say “you don’t know what I’ve seen or done” often so I assumed maybe that was it. The friend told me there wasn’t a lot that happened but maybe he should seek some help.

Now I was stuck. I wanted to follow through and make sure he got the help he needed, so that he could lead a better life. But at 20 years old I had also realized that I deserved better and wanted out. Leaving him again would break his heart and could throw him into a spiral he might not recover from. I was his lifeline for awhile, the only thing he had. I pulled away as gently as I could, staying in his life but not committing. I told him if he wanted me he would have to work on himself and prove it to me.

The truth was I had met someone too… I had met Joe, my fiancé. He had shown me how I was supposed to be treated. He showed me what it was like to be cherished and respected. And I admit it was awkward for me at first, not sure what to do when he reached for my hand in public or sent me cute messages with no harsh undertones. Joe was truly my knight in shining armor who had come to save me from this evil toxic relationship.

When Joe took me out on our first date I realized what I had known for awhile… I was done with my ex, and there was no turning back now. I hung out with my ex the next day hoping to break the news to him. I told him I had met someone and wanted to see where it would go. The next day Joe and I became Facebook official and I received one of the more hateful texts from my ex. It didn’t bother me anymore though. I was done and was happy. I remember even telling him that I could see myself marrying Joe, it was that great with him.

Since then Joe and I have lived our lives together. It’s been just shy of three years and not a word from my ex. He did reach out to me this past November and I did return the message but soon realized he hadn’t changed and there was nothing good that would come of any kind of friendship with him. I have learned. I have Joe. And I am happy.

*Emotional abuse can be hard to see and sometimes it takes someone else to point it out to you. After months of being told by family and friends that things weren’t right with my ex I still stuck around. It took a man to treat me right to wake me up. If you or someone you know is in an emotionally abusive relationship understand that it is hard on all parties but you deserve better, you deserve more and you are worth it.